Out Here

When I am out here, it feels like the world turns for me. I am not a cog in a system. I am a member of a community. A member of a congregation that will feed me when I require nourishment. The same group that will observe as I starve to death due to a lack of respect or education.  

When I am out here, in the wilderness, in nature, I know that I am a man. I know because of the fear that nature’s eyes look upon me. However, I too understand what man has done to you, and that is why I am here. I am here because you cried out to me, saying, “come here, look here, listen here, touch this, smell this.” And no other thing ever made me feel that way.  

But I never felt such a strange feeling as to have your eyes fall upon me in fear. Straight to fear, gripped by it, stuck, cemented in place, by fear. Only to slip into curiosity, and through a long deep stare to see something familiar. Compassion. So the suspicion falls from the eyes of the creature like a tear onto the forest floor. Then a sweet breeze of contentment blows over us like it never was.  

When I am out here, I know that I am not alone. Even when I do not see you, and maybe, maybe, you do not see me. We know, that we are not alone.  

When we are out there, together, I know that we may never cross paths. Yet, I am confident that if our eyes fall upon one another, we will know each other.     

I belong out here, and out here I belong. 

-A. Carroll

2 Comments

  1. Nancy Chapman

    Arron, thanks you. at first I was not sure who was speaking. then thought of this by St. Augustine.
    “Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you. And see, you were within and I was in the external world and sought you there, and in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence in you, they had no existence at all. You called and cried out loud and shattered my deafness. You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my blindness. You were fragrant, and I drew in my breath and now pant after you. I tasted you, and I feel but hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am set on fire to attain the peace which is yours.”

    Liked by 1 person

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